Merry Cactus:
A Poem by Mr. Anderson

To the Phone Losers of America,
My best friends online.
How were your holidays?
I hope you’re doing fine.

I’m writing this letter,
To let you all know,
That I think the website is awesome,
And I love The Phone Show.

You’re my hero Brad Carter,
And it really made my day,
When you harassed Dino Allsman.
And then killed JonBenet.

Because of your guidance,
I’m now a master hacker of phones.
Just like yourself,
And Curtis Lee Jones.

I know you like pranks,
So please don’t get pissed,
When those hookers show up,
That I called from Craigslist.

And to the forum users,
I want to say you guys rock.
You’re all like family to me,
Even Murd0c.

I wish you the best,
And I hope you’re so lucky,
To have a very Merry Cactus.
And a Happy New Monkey.